“Woman is not born: she is made. In the making, her humanity is destroyed. She becomes symbol of this, symbol of that: mother of the earth, slut of the universe; but she never becomes herself because it is forbidden for her to do so.”

Andrea Dworkin

I recently read a book called “The Palace of Illusions”

I learned two things.

  1. Our morals have been the cornerstone of society.
  2. Our women have always been the victim of these morals.

Today, I want to talk about sexism.

Our morals and our rules have been a shining beacon to us. A beacon that guides us to prosperity and success.

Our morals are the reason for a rich culture which some of us proudly claim to be better than firangis.

Our morals are the reason for a long-run patriarchal entity.

Well, let’s face it. Our morals are flawed.

Every woman in India is still facing blatant sexism. Either from her parents, boyfriend, boss, friends, husband.

It has become so normal that as this slowly shreds her life; her beliefs and dreams to pieces; she just stares and wonders – What am I doing wrong? What do I do? ; unaware of the tyranny of the times she lives in.

Do You want to see how bad is it?

Here, let me give you some examples:

– She can’t go out late at night because “accha nahi lagta”
– She can study but not too much otherwise, she won’t find a groom as no groom likes an overly qualified wife.
– She has to “adjust” because well, THAT’S HOW IT WORKS.
– She is important but not more than her brother’s career.
– Her education is a waste of money; her marriage is not. Because, “Status”
– She can’t hangout with guys late at night.

Because (Wait for it, it is funny)
1. Some men are assholes.
2. “chaar log” matters more than her.

There’s much more to it than what meets the eye.

I cannot imagine how suffocating it would be for them.

When I read the book; I felt the pain. And I don’t want the women of my life to feel that ever.

A Note for Women:

Fight against this tyranny. You might face your dear ones. But you must do what’s right. Break those chains. Close your eyes. Feel your powers. Feel the wings on your back. Spread them. Burn those who come in your way. Be a rebel if you have to be one. Fly.

Maybe we don’t deserve you. But we need you.

All of you who have faced it. It is time to make it stop. Speak up when your friend faces it. Speak up when your daughter faces it. You must know. She has never been weak. You have never been weak. Don’t settle for the idea of “This is how it works”.

You hold the baton now. I don’t care whether you are a feminist or not. It doesn’t matter if you quietly bear the tyranny.

A Note for Men:

Dear Men, We are better than this. We are better than what they think of us as. “They” are not women. They are the people who still believe in the age-old beliefs. Tell them that we have evolved. Don’t just tell. Let it reflect in your words and actions. Let it become a habit. Tell them we are okay with women who rebel. Women who don’t have just honey dripping off their lips but also blood; the blood of all the people who did her wrong and tried to shun her. Tell them we are okay with women who know how to love themselves and respects themselves as much as they respect you. Tell them that we are okay with women who are fearless. No, we are not okay; we are honored.

And let us make it clear that women dressed in shorts don’t provoke us. Women  who have tattoos don’t provoke us. Let us not make them make us into the demons we are not. Let us tell them that we are better than what they think of us.

The next time you see your mother, your daughter, your wife, your sister, your girlfriend face the blatant sexism; stop them. Revolt against the tyranny.

Because if you don’t; maybe you are not worthy.

 

Note to self: 

Keep reminding yourself that it is not okay. Just because it has been there for so long; it is not necessarily right. Respect the choices of women in your life and treat them as an equal in truest of senses.

 

 

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