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Step-Brothers

Step-Brothers

When you are not looking,
Fear will tip-toe in your dreams,
And make them nightmares.
It will bring the cold sweats with it.
Fear will knock on the glass of the car,
come closer and fog it with warm breath.
And then with the pointed ugly fingers that you think Fear has,
It will write, “You’re going to die”.
Fear will cover the pillars of the stage,
And shake them hard,
which will make your knees wobble,
And it will suck the saliva out of your mouth.
It will have a one night stand with your memories,
And leave behind a baby.
A baby which will scream,
“You will suck, People will hate you”
On heights and in depths,
It will pull you down,
And hold you,
like a lover.
And it will whisper in your ears,
“You’re going down”.
But the worst thing that fear can do,
Is make you hate the people you love.
It will leave trails of salt on your cheeks,
After a big fight or a small misunderstanding,
And it will burn right through your skin,
and those scars would read,
“It will hurt, It will pain”.
But my friend,
Fear and Pain.
They are not related.
All they can be are step-brothers.
Why?
Because they are from different mothers.
And you might think they are related,
But they are not
But Love.
Now, Love and Pain,
They are twins.
So tread carefully.

Once Upon A Time…

Once Upon A Time…

I know of people who have been through some heartbreaks and it can be devastating. But then a few days ago a discussion with a friend sparked these words. I don’t know if this was long overdue or not, but

*This is written from a woman’s perspective.

 

You know of pain do you?
What?
Can you feel it gushing like blood in your veins?

You know of Love do you?
What?
Has it become as necessary as breathing?

I am damaged goods.
I am a scratched soul.
And I can’t do that anymore.

What?
Feel.
Love and Pain.

And all I try to do is heal and fail
and then try again to feel.

I try to spread my wings,
And blabber about things.
As I used to.
Once upon a time.

Hm. Once Upon A Time…

It reminds me of those fairy tales
Of dragons and demons.
And princesses running away for wicked queens.

That is what I do.
I run away.
As far and wide I can.

AND I DON’T TAKE POISONED APPLES.
or bullshit.

I am the princess in the tower.
I am the damsel in distress.

And the sad part is,
I don’t want to be saved,
It is not that I don’t want a knight in shining armour,
But I don’t need one.

Look at me.
I look happy.
I am.
I have learned to fool myself.
And people.

Oh Love,
I almost forgot.
Can’t.

Too many missing pieces.⁠⁠⁠⁠

Featured Image Artist: Catrin Walz Stein (courtesy: berlin-artparasites)

Serene

Serene

I close my eyes and take a deep breath,
I press them hard till all I see is darkness.
Trying to bar all the noise I could,
Lonely; amidst the crowd, I stood.

The sound of the distant bells ringing,
The melodies of a radio singing,
The banter on the road down south,
The quarrel on the phone turning couth.

All I can hear is the sound of the shore,
And above it, screaming; seagulls galore.
I don’t know why I turned to this specific memory,
What made me jump to this point;
Among all these endless possibilities?

What was so special?

The way my hands fitted in his?
The way I stood on his shoulders letting out a wheeze?
Was it the tears that I shed;
The way how they were different than the recent ones I had?
was it the shine in my eyes?
was it because that day I really felt infinite?

I open my eyes as it pulls me down,
Gravity? No.
Reality has a force mightier, and how!
I must be losing the grip,
It almost feels like falling off a cliff.
I see around me and I see no difference at all,
Only the fact that the world is one less person now.

I wonder if it is a good thing or not.
The fact that he left this place of chaos.
I wonder if in the end he got where he started for,
Has he gone to the place where he should’ve been?
A place which deserved souls like him;
That reminds us of sunsets and sea;
Of lights and rain,
touches that heal the pain,
I just want to know if he’s one the way
or has he reached,
A place which is happy and serene.

Scratched Souls

How does it feel?
Holding all that power within.
Containing so much for so long,
To feel as weak and yet as strong.
How does it feel?
To take deep dives into the sea,
Hoping that it would take you back;
Back to what you used to be.
How does it feel?
To scratch till there’s just bones and blood,
To feel like a stranded tree in the flood.
Yes I feel that too,
Feeling like falling from a cliff,
Fearing the darkness within when you sleep.
Don’t worry you’re not alone,
There has been many like us,
With hearts of blood and stone.
We’re the flood, the fire, the rain,
We’re the feeling that they get when they fail.
We’re the zero and the infinity both at once,
Negating itself creating a myriad of paradox.
We’re not wrong nor we’re right,
We’re like nature; caring like day and ruthless like nights.
Our destiny is to just be.
Looking for the other half,
Only to fail for eternity.
We’ll always be what life is to death,
What light is to dark.
But beyond that,
We’re something more.
We’re far more than
Damaged goods,
Broken hearts,
Pieces of shards.
We’re the song of life,
We’re the dark of night.
Let them call us what they feel,
We’re not meant to heal.
We’re the fire that burns itself,
We’re the scars,
The screams,
We’re trapped,
We’re as impossible as the 8th fold,
But all in all,
We’re Scratched Souls.

Oblivion

by Aditya Mankad 0 Comments

I closed my eyes,
And I tried to feel.
I ran into something that felt like your lips,
It brought everything back; Little things which the memories skips.
It went on till the pain came in,
Gushing like blood in the heart’s rim.
I bit my lips and clenched my fists,
As the agony introduced itself gist by gist.
I think Love has something to do with Pain,
Maybe they are like step brothers;
Trying to win over life but in vain.
But I breathed in hard till my lungs hurt,
It felt beautiful but deadly as well.
Like something trying to kill you but not letting you die.
But all I loved is still with me, Everything but the ability to see.
I do have you so that weighs out, But never will I win another bout.
You know how they say, Explosion does all the harm?
Try imploding once; It destroys the unshakable calm.
I did have the fire within, I can feel it shine,
Inside my veins, Incinerating every belief of mine.
I never feared the scars,
The smog of lies,
The blinding stars.
Neither feared that punch,
Those flashes,
The misanthropic bunch.
Nor the pain,
The blood,
These burning veins.
I fear those closing walls,
I fear these trembling hands,
I fear fear itself,
But most of all,
I fear the oblivion.

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