Vulnerable

Vulnerable

I grew up staying away from fire,

From falling in water and from being a liar,

Some things turned out to be good for me,

But not the fire and not the sea,

There’s one thing that life has taught me,

The farther you run the closer you’ll be,

Yes it’s scary; yes it will hurt,

Yes, it will feel like a punch that thrashes you in dirt,

But trust me beyond that there’s a point,

A point where it will all make sense,

That, why you made all that fuss and were always tense.

What’s the point if you live but aren’t alive?

Where would it take you if the path is all mushy and plain?

Try to take a leap,

Even if you can’t see,

feel vulnerable,

Let it rip your heart out,

Because maybe that’s the risk that you have to take,

That’s a mistake you must make.

The Story

The Story

I was reading a book today, and then suddenly a guy in it dies. Like turn the chapter and it says “Darkness”, and I instantly knew, something bad is going to happen and I just stopped reading.

Yeah, I do that.  I like reading. But I won’t term myself as a voracious reader. I stopped reading for a while, guess why?!

ENGINEERING. no no, I don’t hate it like most of the writers do. I think its kind of cool, not everyone can do it. Its just that the books are so boring that, it never made me feel like reading anything else again.

Yeah, so bottom line, I kind of lost my love for reading.

Until Today,

Okay, so I will let you in on a secret,  (my fellow Indian students; no surprise for you !)

Our exams are waaaaaaay too boring. Like literally. I get tired of writing. Now tomorrow is our management paper and I am least bothered to study. So me and my friends decided to make exams a little fun, and after lots of stupid ideas, we came up with the stupidest one..

“Lets make new words and shit and write them in exams”

I was like, praise the lord to give you a mind capable of having such awesome ideas +Divyaraj Jhala

Anyway, so for THAT, I thought why not read!? (I can always have some inspiration for my discovery that will change the course of exams for us students)

So, I started reading.

Now let me jump to the chapter.  “DARKNESS”

A character dies. DIES. I placed that book aside. Like a reflex. I was too afraid to read what happens next. Its like Joey, like he puts the book in refrigerator.

How easy for him to die. How simple for the writer to make him die. Like, gone. No more inverted commas ending with his name. No more his character description now and then. How sad.  But that’s the story right??

THAT was his DESTINY.

 

Now the crazy thing is, I have a habit of relating myself to at least one character of what I am reading. And it was I who died.

Now that triggered a way irrelevant, baseless and stupid thought.

As much as I say,

There’s only one person watching, it’s not god, its “YOU”

I am not an atheist, no. But I feel we humans have greater powers than what we think we have. We can create magic. Best proof? BOOKS.

So my point being,

What if I am character.  Nothing more, nothing less. Its just that I have been spoiled with thinking power.What if I am a character of some story, some great one or some very poorly written one. Some story with a fairy-tale ending or maybe it doesn’t have much of a happy ending.

What if I am the protagonist?

What if I am the “bad guy”?

Crazy right?

Yeaaah. So I thought,

A character, has a purpose. Something it is supposed to do.Something the universe conspires for. Otherwise the story won’t get where its supposed to. Right?

What if ALL of US are some part of a story, or stories. Such that each character plays an immaculate role in other story. Affect it, terribly, surprisingly. A story with innumerable possibilities,  a story so complicated, but so well written.

The best part?  It is not completed.

The writer maybe hasn’t come on terms with the term END. So? Its doesn’t end. Its his/her wish.

Now as it is not written completely, there’s an uncertainty, uncertainty of what’s going to happen next.

But then, there’s one thing certain, each of us characters have a purpose.

And as much as we are hung up by those strings tied to us, once in a while our writer, our creator takes a long nap and lets the characters decide the path, the flow of the story,  and that’s when we work wonders. We give it a whole new direction, a new perspective, because, that’s where those emotions pop in.

He let’s us decide a path for ourselves.

But we.. hahahahahahaha.. we are so naive, aren’t we now?

Sometimes we believe, let HIM handle, and we sit back and relax.

But most of the time we do things, and we reach a point where we are destined to.

Yes, destiny comes into the picture when our bestseller is sleeping and this is when we are serving our purpose, in OUR way.

Just look around you. Silently. Each and every person is character in the story you are the Protagonist of, and vice versa.

And as in the story, you might not know but he/she can change the direction in a drastic way. Because the writer knows, and you might not. not just now.

So when I tell you, when those catchy posters tell you,

“If you don’t like your story, change it”

They mean it. And I believe in it.

Because you have every right to .Because you have all the power to.

We don’t know in which chapter, we might vanish.We might die, or the writer forgets us. So enjoy your part. Truly, sincerely.

For come what may, you know.  YOU were, are the reason for some great ending to a story, or maybe it never ended. 🙂

I would like to quote something from a movie.

“Babumoshai,Zindagi aur maut uparwale ke hath hai jahapana, jise na aap badalsakte hai na mein. hum sab to rangmanch ki katputlia hai, jiski door uparwale ke haath bandhi hai kab kaun kaise uthega ye koi nahi janta”

But what you do between that, is what matters.

The Hidden Romantic

The Hidden Romantic

by Aditya Mankad 1 Comment

How does it feel?

When you are having a big crush on someone?

How does it feel?

When you see a photo of her on your news feed.When you get a message notification, and how you wish “let it be her”!

I will tell you how it exactly feels.

You can’t sit straight.

 You feel damn uneasy.

Like your stomach is paining, but no, it is not paining.

You put a hand on your tummy and you can feel butterflies inside. 

You smile foolishly when you think of her. 

Your heart beats fast.

You tap your feet. Your hands do that small dance while she is “typing”                           

You assume what her answer would be and type it, just because you want to.

Maybe also to impress her.You delete the text when your prediction goes bonkers.

You send a lot of emoticons.

You suddenly feel less sleepy.

You feel an urge to save money,hoping that you will go on a date soon, and then hoping that you will ask soon!

Your throat remains dry, and you act to gulp a saliva to give that “I am shocked” effect when she says “yes, I am single,  wbu?”

While you always hoped, that ” god! Please yeh single ho”

And you will ask this question after around 20 chat conversation, delaying because you have following questions in your mind, 

“Is it too soon to ask?”

               “Bura to nai manegi na?”           

“yaar nai janna, dil toot jayega khamakha!”

Then coming to a decision,

“Pata to chal  jaaye!”

You think you are looking average or she is too good for you. That she is out of your league. You hesitate.

You go romantic. You plan a short future with her.But you are too much of a “guy” to admit it.Even to yourself.

You get irritated when some random guy comments on her pic.

You feel so good when she says bye at 10:59 and her last seen shows 11:00

You fear your past.You fear that she won’t like you back.You just want to know everything about her, in one go.

You wish you are her “type”

Your normal conversation would be like,

Friend: Hey, BRB, 😀

You: Yea, K

But with her,

Crush: Hey, BRB 😉

You: yea, Okaaaaay waiting 🙂

A long extended approval instead of just a “K”, just because you feel that these small things will make her understand how you feel for her.

But she won’t understand these small signals bro;)

(though they expect us to get small signals)

You tell your best friends about her and smile sheepishly while they make fun of you.

You really really hope you don’t get Friendzoned.

You listen to all the romantic, slow songs and imagine yourself and her as the leads (okay, I am not sure everyone else does that :D)

You think of various possibilities like,

Her having an ex trouble.

Her being in someone’s friendzoned.                                                                             

Her having a relationship issue.                                                                                

Her having a family issue.

Her being not into guys :p

After a long thought, you wish and feel that she’s the one. ( If you’re into this “everyone have their The ONE”)

You feel like a..

A hopeless romantic. A puppet with her controlling you.A lead of a romcom and wishing that it has a happy ending.

And trust me, however big might be your crush,

You will think about her hot friend. You will check out a girl ahead of you on a scooty.
Don’t worry,  that’s how our mind is. Twisted.

Sorry girls.But I will tell you this, It is similar to,

You checking out a girl’s outfit and comparing it to yours.

So take it easy. You can’t stop doing that.We can’t stop doing this.

We try.We fail. Period.

So,

How does it feel? Amazing right?

I remember these lines from a song which perfectly explains the way you feel,

“Haal bayan ho na haal bayan,Hona fakat hai fanaa”

I feel giddy as a school boy,

I secretly hope that I am not your toy,

If I were in a hall full of people,

 I would search for you,And that’s when I finally knew,

You’re the one I planned my future with,

That destiny is not really a myth,

I can finally relate to song’s lyrics,

And I feel as uneasy as a burning phoenix,

No I am telling no lies,

Here, check my stomach full of butterflies, 

It would really hurt if you were in love with someone else,

And I’ll wish for a parallel universe where this all makes sense,

I feel like a raft near to shore,And I wish for wind, just some more, 

That’s how it really feels,

The exact same way,

And that’s how I wish it feels, everyday,

This is when I really really knew,

You, you’re my crush.

But how it ends?
This is how!

Chat Conversation

P.S Don’t smile goofily, okay do, but make sure that your mom or friends aren’t around, because you don’t want to be on the hot seat now, do you?

P.S.S Happy Valentines’ Day

The Wish

The Wish

Remember Aladdin?

Yes Of course you do.

How we wished that we would have a magic lamp with a genie in it?

Or that Shaka Laka Boom Boom’s Sanju’s magic pencil!

Remember the lists you made of the things you would ask?

And when the list exceeded 3, you decided to be witty.

You: “My first wish is that I get 1000 wishes”

Genie: You can’t make a wish like that.

You: “I wish I can make a wish like that”

You: 1 Genie: 0

I still do wish of that sometimes. About having a genie. About getting wishes.

Even if I get just 3 wishes.

I like the world of fantasy. Of fairies and dwarfs. Of genies and demons. Because that way I know that everything is possible.

Because that opens a world of opportunities and more career options 😛

What if I get a wish?

Just ONE.

A chance to do something which I can’t (Atleast not right now)

I can wish for a lot of things.

Love. Health. Money. Power. Sex. A Car. A House.

Yes, all of those things make me happy. But there’s one thing which sweeps me off my feet. Puts me in a mode where everything seems surreal. Where words flow through my mind as fast and free as a waterfall.

Travelling.

Rather, A journey. Of any sorts.

Long-Short, Costly-Cheap, Local-International, Alone-With someone.

Why travelling?

Because I think that’s where everything converges. I still remember that quote from the movie “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”. I think that’s what the purpose is.

Here’s the quote

To see the world,

Things dangerous to come,

To see behind walls,

To draw closer,

To find each other and to feel,

That is the Purpose of Life

THE Wish

I want a year.

A year in which I can do nothing but travel. India. And at least 10 other countries.

I got inspired by a friend I met in an AIESEC Conference. His name is Gahaf Tounsi (Search him on Facebook). I want the courage to do that. To just go. Take the leap.

Be Pi Patel in a boat.Stranded in the ocean with life being Richard Parker; initially trying to make you lose faith. But maybe and hopefully, towards the end; befriending you.  

Everyone wants to settle in their life. Everyone want to be financially stable. Get married. Raise kids. (When I say everyone, I am referring to a majority of people who live in my country). Yes, even I want all that. I do. But I really believe that life is short. And seriously fucked up.

You might never settle. You might incur heavy losses in Business. You might get divorced. You might never have a kid.

The point is, I want to take in everything at once. I don’t want to miss on anything. Because everything perishes as fast as it can. And I want to suck up all of that; right till the very core, till nothing is left but memories.

And yes, I believe that travel can give me that.

Call it a step towards Peace.

Call it Happiness.

Call it me “Fulfilling my Potential”

I want a Year.

This is my promise to you all. I will do that in my life. Yes I know I might die and promising about something just after stating that Life can “Put you in a plane and make you feel happy and then push you from 10,000 feet and make you scared and then give you a parachute to again make you happy till you find out that it won’t deploy” fucked up is way too ironical but well, be optimistic dear people.

What if YOU got a wish?

Don’t ponder over what can’t and what can be done,

The power of man’s dream has led it to moon and beyond,

Who knows what you hold within?

What if you were always capable of something;

Something which was “Impossible” in the beginning,

Dream, because you can,

It’s the only place where you can be free,

Where you can be as witty as you want to be, and as strong,

It is the place where you truly belong.

To New Beginning

To New Beginning

You believe in the fact that everything HAS to change?

I do.
I know it’s hard.
YES, I know.

It’s hard to start living without someone whom you called your “life”.
It’s hard to love that toy the same way you loved your previous one.
It’s hard to forget something;something which you still remember.
It’s hard to change.
And harder to accept it.

Things. People. Lifestyle. Choices.

Especially when you like it.

Yes, I’ve lost something and yes i took a lot of time to accept that change.

And you would do anything to reverse that won’t you?

I would if I could.

But world has a very unique way of teaching things.

Pushing you till you fall.
Pushing you till there’s wall.

But sometimes,
Just sometimes,

You fly.

To new beginning.

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