The Hidden Romantic

The Hidden Romantic

by Aditya Mankad 1 Comment

How does it feel?

When you are having a big crush on someone?

How does it feel?

When you see a photo of her on your news feed.When you get a message notification, and how you wish “let it be her”!

I will tell you how it exactly feels.

You can’t sit straight.

 You feel damn uneasy.

Like your stomach is paining, but no, it is not paining.

You put a hand on your tummy and you can feel butterflies inside. 

You smile foolishly when you think of her. 

Your heart beats fast.

You tap your feet. Your hands do that small dance while she is “typing”                           

You assume what her answer would be and type it, just because you want to.

Maybe also to impress her.You delete the text when your prediction goes bonkers.

You send a lot of emoticons.

You suddenly feel less sleepy.

You feel an urge to save money,hoping that you will go on a date soon, and then hoping that you will ask soon!

Your throat remains dry, and you act to gulp a saliva to give that “I am shocked” effect when she says “yes, I am single,  wbu?”

While you always hoped, that ” god! Please yeh single ho”

And you will ask this question after around 20 chat conversation, delaying because you have following questions in your mind, 

“Is it too soon to ask?”

               “Bura to nai manegi na?”           

“yaar nai janna, dil toot jayega khamakha!”

Then coming to a decision,

“Pata to chal  jaaye!”

You think you are looking average or she is too good for you. That she is out of your league. You hesitate.

You go romantic. You plan a short future with her.But you are too much of a “guy” to admit it.Even to yourself.

You get irritated when some random guy comments on her pic.

You feel so good when she says bye at 10:59 and her last seen shows 11:00

You fear your past.You fear that she won’t like you back.You just want to know everything about her, in one go.

You wish you are her “type”

Your normal conversation would be like,

Friend: Hey, BRB, 😀

You: Yea, K

But with her,

Crush: Hey, BRB 😉

You: yea, Okaaaaay waiting 🙂

A long extended approval instead of just a “K”, just because you feel that these small things will make her understand how you feel for her.

But she won’t understand these small signals bro;)

(though they expect us to get small signals)

You tell your best friends about her and smile sheepishly while they make fun of you.

You really really hope you don’t get Friendzoned.

You listen to all the romantic, slow songs and imagine yourself and her as the leads (okay, I am not sure everyone else does that :D)

You think of various possibilities like,

Her having an ex trouble.

Her being in someone’s friendzoned.                                                                             

Her having a relationship issue.                                                                                

Her having a family issue.

Her being not into guys :p

After a long thought, you wish and feel that she’s the one. ( If you’re into this “everyone have their The ONE”)

You feel like a..

A hopeless romantic. A puppet with her controlling you.A lead of a romcom and wishing that it has a happy ending.

And trust me, however big might be your crush,

You will think about her hot friend. You will check out a girl ahead of you on a scooty.
Don’t worry,  that’s how our mind is. Twisted.

Sorry girls.But I will tell you this, It is similar to,

You checking out a girl’s outfit and comparing it to yours.

So take it easy. You can’t stop doing that.We can’t stop doing this.

We try.We fail. Period.

So,

How does it feel? Amazing right?

I remember these lines from a song which perfectly explains the way you feel,

“Haal bayan ho na haal bayan,Hona fakat hai fanaa”

I feel giddy as a school boy,

I secretly hope that I am not your toy,

If I were in a hall full of people,

 I would search for you,And that’s when I finally knew,

You’re the one I planned my future with,

That destiny is not really a myth,

I can finally relate to song’s lyrics,

And I feel as uneasy as a burning phoenix,

No I am telling no lies,

Here, check my stomach full of butterflies, 

It would really hurt if you were in love with someone else,

And I’ll wish for a parallel universe where this all makes sense,

I feel like a raft near to shore,And I wish for wind, just some more, 

That’s how it really feels,

The exact same way,

And that’s how I wish it feels, everyday,

This is when I really really knew,

You, you’re my crush.

But how it ends?
This is how!

Chat Conversation

P.S Don’t smile goofily, okay do, but make sure that your mom or friends aren’t around, because you don’t want to be on the hot seat now, do you?

P.S.S Happy Valentines’ Day

The Wish

The Wish

Remember Aladdin?

Yes Of course you do.

How we wished that we would have a magic lamp with a genie in it?

Or that Shaka Laka Boom Boom’s Sanju’s magic pencil!

Remember the lists you made of the things you would ask?

And when the list exceeded 3, you decided to be witty.

You: “My first wish is that I get 1000 wishes”

Genie: You can’t make a wish like that.

You: “I wish I can make a wish like that”

You: 1 Genie: 0

I still do wish of that sometimes. About having a genie. About getting wishes.

Even if I get just 3 wishes.

I like the world of fantasy. Of fairies and dwarfs. Of genies and demons. Because that way I know that everything is possible.

Because that opens a world of opportunities and more career options 😛

What if I get a wish?

Just ONE.

A chance to do something which I can’t (Atleast not right now)

I can wish for a lot of things.

Love. Health. Money. Power. Sex. A Car. A House.

Yes, all of those things make me happy. But there’s one thing which sweeps me off my feet. Puts me in a mode where everything seems surreal. Where words flow through my mind as fast and free as a waterfall.

Travelling.

Rather, A journey. Of any sorts.

Long-Short, Costly-Cheap, Local-International, Alone-With someone.

Why travelling?

Because I think that’s where everything converges. I still remember that quote from the movie “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”. I think that’s what the purpose is.

Here’s the quote

To see the world,

Things dangerous to come,

To see behind walls,

To draw closer,

To find each other and to feel,

That is the Purpose of Life

THE Wish

I want a year.

A year in which I can do nothing but travel. India. And at least 10 other countries.

I got inspired by a friend I met in an AIESEC Conference. His name is Gahaf Tounsi (Search him on Facebook). I want the courage to do that. To just go. Take the leap.

Be Pi Patel in a boat.Stranded in the ocean with life being Richard Parker; initially trying to make you lose faith. But maybe and hopefully, towards the end; befriending you.  

Everyone wants to settle in their life. Everyone want to be financially stable. Get married. Raise kids. (When I say everyone, I am referring to a majority of people who live in my country). Yes, even I want all that. I do. But I really believe that life is short. And seriously fucked up.

You might never settle. You might incur heavy losses in Business. You might get divorced. You might never have a kid.

The point is, I want to take in everything at once. I don’t want to miss on anything. Because everything perishes as fast as it can. And I want to suck up all of that; right till the very core, till nothing is left but memories.

And yes, I believe that travel can give me that.

Call it a step towards Peace.

Call it Happiness.

Call it me “Fulfilling my Potential”

I want a Year.

This is my promise to you all. I will do that in my life. Yes I know I might die and promising about something just after stating that Life can “Put you in a plane and make you feel happy and then push you from 10,000 feet and make you scared and then give you a parachute to again make you happy till you find out that it won’t deploy” fucked up is way too ironical but well, be optimistic dear people.

What if YOU got a wish?

Don’t ponder over what can’t and what can be done,

The power of man’s dream has led it to moon and beyond,

Who knows what you hold within?

What if you were always capable of something;

Something which was “Impossible” in the beginning,

Dream, because you can,

It’s the only place where you can be free,

Where you can be as witty as you want to be, and as strong,

It is the place where you truly belong.

To New Beginning

To New Beginning

You believe in the fact that everything HAS to change?

I do.
I know it’s hard.
YES, I know.

It’s hard to start living without someone whom you called your “life”.
It’s hard to love that toy the same way you loved your previous one.
It’s hard to forget something;something which you still remember.
It’s hard to change.
And harder to accept it.

Things. People. Lifestyle. Choices.

Especially when you like it.

Yes, I’ve lost something and yes i took a lot of time to accept that change.

And you would do anything to reverse that won’t you?

I would if I could.

But world has a very unique way of teaching things.

Pushing you till you fall.
Pushing you till there’s wall.

But sometimes,
Just sometimes,

You fly.

To new beginning.

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