What comes to your mind when you hear “Story of a Suicide”?
What’s the first thing?
Is it a vague memory from a movie; of a college student hanging, with “I Quit” written hurriedly on the wall?
Is it a couple drowning in a river because they cannot stay together, and tragedy being, that one of them survives?
Is it a dimly lit room; closed from inside and a river of “things unsaid” coming out from someone’s veins in the form of blood?
Is it of a boy or a girl who has managed to open up themselves because somehow that felt easier than opening up to their parents?
Is it of a body that has a revolver in the hand, turning as cold as the winter winds, as the soul and unfulfilled dreams leave it forever?
Or is it an aerial view from the 10th floor; and a body forming abstract patterns from the blood which surprisingly makes more sense than the world made to the body.
Who is the person?
You know them?
Is it your best friend who shares everything but not what hurts them the most?
Is it your parent who is mentally and emotionally drained and feels suffocated?
Is it your classmate who gets picked on a lot and the pressure on the carotid arteries somehow pains less than the pounding to the heart and blows to the ego?
Or is it you?
Yesterday I read a book called “The Story of a Suicide”
I strongly suggest you to read the book.
What’s it about?
It is the story of 4 lives. Hari, Mani, Sam & Charu. It is a story of how everyone is waging their own battle and how everyone goes through a turmoil of emotion. It is a story of love, betrayal, revenge, deceit and lot other emotions.
It addresses issues like Depression, Homosexuality, and Cybercrime.
Some chapters like “Caesar meets Draupadi“, “Trojan” and “Tigress Skinned” gives you a fresh perspective about the emotions that the children of this generation face and makes it a very interesting read.
Oh, and you MUST read the “How do I?” section in the sidebar. It gives you an advice about dealing with the situations that you as a young individual are likely to face.
Here are some links from the book:
How Do I?
- deal with my ex?
- tell my best friend I love him/her?
- seek help if I have been abused?
- handle anxiety attacks?
- deal with harassment?
- overcome the fear of death?
- prevent suicidal thoughts?
Let me tell you this,
IT IS NOT a poorly written book. Each chapter has a title which made me feel something. Each illustration makes you stare at it for a while and lets the emotions that it has, seep into you.
I am going to put in a few excerpt from the book so that you get an idea about the style of writing and some idea about the context.
I am going to die.
I am leaving. I am tired of fighting. I am tired of struggling to survive. I have finally made a choice today. Yes, I give up.
Have you ever felt lonely in a crowd, claustrophobic when alone? Now I hate everything around me. I do not understand human beings any more. They are too complex for my silly brain. I do not know what sounds I need to make for them to like me, love me, trust me.
Sounds did I say? Words have become very confusing, so I’m staying primal.
There are many gripping episodes but I thought I’d let you catch you when you least expect them.
Why read the book?
I will give you three reasons.
- The writing style is amazing. chances are you’ll relate to a part of each character.
- The Illustrations! OH… MY… GOD. I looked at all the illustrations at least thrice. They; as I said,makes you feel, immensely.
- If you are not a regular reader and somehow don’t feel like buying the book; don’t worry. It is free and you can read it here.
Why should you not read it?
If you are homophobic or a feminazi or both, Don’t bother reading. You’ll not get it.
Oh, and fuck you.
Here are my views on the topics that the book covers.
It is real, It is terrifying and It is not funny. You’re likely to face depression if you are under constant physical, emotional and psychological pressure. It is not that rare and it is okay. Consult. Keeping all that negativity inside is not going to do you any good. Is is okay to talk about it. There would be days when you don’t feel like talking to anyone and will skip meals. There would be days wherein you’ll feel shitty and everyone will sound irritating. Go to your happy place. Do the things you love to do. Whenever I feel low, I turn to the things that soothe me. Chai. Music. Poetry. Do that.
Your sexual preference is only and ONLY your choice. You are a warrior like everyone else. Don’t be too hard on yourself (If you’re doing that) and do not take homophobes seriously. Share your concerns with your friends and family. If your parents cannot come to terms with the fact that you are homosexual, then it is NOT your fault. Tell them that you’re gay and not a rapist. Tell them that there was no problem in their upbringing. In fact, they should be proud that they have taught their child to be fearless and courageous. Tell them that love goes beyond the concepts of society and religion.
You are highly likely to be a victim of cyber crimes. Do not take it lightly. Report every obscene message and vulgar comments. It is very easy for hackers to hack into your social media accounts. Be aware of things happening around you. Stay educated. Get to know the laws. Cyber Crime is as much of a crime as theft and otherwise.
The problem is… that we; the torch bearers of this generation fail to be emotionally stable.
It is true.
One comment on the way you look or the way you act and we go tumbling down the lane of depression.
One tweet or Instagram post or a facebook upload goes unnoticed and we question our significance.
Truth is, our feelings either go plummeting down the rabbit hole or are skyrocketed towards infinity.
I think I exaggerated a little. But oh, isn’t that the problem?
I think I have had my fair share of loneliness and lows. If you know me personally, you know that I undergo frequent mood swings. But I swear on my life, not once have I felt suicidal.
I am not a very positive person but I am too much in love with the idea of living.
But it is also true that I have not been through what other individuals have gone through.
I might not have gone through the worst and you might have but think of this,
what’s the worse that you have been through?
Physical Abuse? Emotional Abuse? Rape?
Heart-break? Depression? Anxiety Attacks?
Talk about it. IT IS OKAY to talk about it. Don’t take that burden. It is not yours to carry.
Be selfish. It is YOUR life. And there is no justification whatsoever to end it. I am not giving you the fluff. Remember, there will be times when you will think lowly of your life. But,
A body of million suns and moons,
A body of bones and flesh and hope,
A body of thousand dreams and love,
A body of wisdom and doubt,
A body of desire and longing,
A body of stardust and soul,
A body of sanctity and purity,
carry a fire, a spark,
which is so bright and strong,
that no one can get to.
No one but,
Some Illustrations from the book. Made by an absolutely brilliant artist – Ghana.
You can read the book at The Story of a Suicide
And here’s the link to the audio book: The Story of a Suicide
I just came across this beautiful story of an individual who has managed to keep that flame burning. It is a story of an individual called Partth Thakur. I feel compelled to mention him here because he is one glorious example He runs something called The Wishing Factory.
You can read his feature on the Humans of Bombay page: Click here.