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Screams of a Silent Heart

Screams of a Silent Heart

There’s a point beyond,
A point where I feel nothing at all.
I guess I have been there for centuries and over.
I guess it has become a habit which can’t be undone.
There’s a point where you heal faster than you get hurt.
But that only comes after infinite unbearable cuts.
There’s a point where nothing hurts but hope.
It is like a blade to throat,
Cutting your flesh but not enough.
And every time you wish it would be over,
It cuts a bit more.
But I still wish,
I wish that someone is made,
Made to fit like a puzzle.
Maybe for my broken silent heart,
Maybe exactly made like the other part?
And I wish someone, something brings that to me,
And I can only wish that it wants me as much as I wish for it.
And that, it is the sole reason for which my heart still beats,
I guess someone is made.
I want to be with her till my memories fade.
Someone who can dream my dreams,
Someone who can hear,
My silent heart’s loud screams.



Here’s how you read it.

Read it as you do from top to bottom,
But on your way from bottom to top; just read the highlighted words to finish the story.

The narrator is a girl.

Pretty foreign; if you ask me.
Our fellow colleague,
I was aghast.
Telling everyone the truth? That takes courage.
Her being lesbian.
It was a tell all tale of the office.
I though was not impressed.
You Should always think twice before you come out as something like this.
I mean its India.
We have all ifs and Buts.
You just aren’t supposed to be that way.
I don’t know how I felt for her,
She knew that, Even I did.
I was the center of attraction.
Now she was.
Boom! Everything gone in a blink of an eye!
No more all those gazes and stares.
Plus her being really beautiful added the pain.
It’s funny how one tiny detail fuck things up.
People knew that she was not into men, and still she was all they wanted.
But it didn’t change one fact.
To be fair, I didn’t care.
Sure, it is good to be hit on,
Seeing all that insecure and under confident. souls!
But I never was interested.
I am “a workaholic” you see,
I loved that tag of “Self-sufficient and narcissist bitch”
Hidden behind all this was a motive; to never get hurt.
And again there was. this guy,
I never knew what he felt; how he felt (about me of course)
Quite stoic he was.
An exception. if you may call.
I hated her because he was hers; he fell for her!
But then somehow I was,
I was attracted to her.
Maybe it was because we were so alike.
But then this happened.
And That day.
Things changed.
Mirrors shattered, clothes scattered and what not!
Because he was in a hurry.
And so, I and him.

Featured image Illustration by Chris Riddell



It just doesn’t feel right,
The way I feel at her first sight.
The chords of my heart sing a sweet melody,
But there I stand; silent, struck by her beauty.
But then it isn’t right,
She isn’t mine,
I lost her in a fight,
I wish I could re-spawn,
But that wouldn’t matter a bit,
She is someone else’s.
I still like to keep a little hope alive,
The thing that keeps me going is just her smile.
I don’t see a reason to move away,
Yes, it would hurt,
But for being around her? It is worth.
Those feelings won’t just wash away,
They are just buried deep down.
But silently deep inside, I know,
There’s a guy crying out loud,
“I am still standing there,
Always will,
Even if she won’t see,
Even if things are not meant to be”

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